Zombie Spartans?

I'm sure you'll forgive me if I express some healthy skepticism concerning a q & a in the Walter Scott's Personality Parade in today's Parade Magazine.

A purported reader who goes by the mysterious moniker "M.I., San Antonio, Tex." (I believe the use of initials indicates that the letter was actually written by the column's staff) asks whether Gerard Butler has "plans to do a sequel to his smash hit 300, the movie about Greek warriors based on Frank Miller's graphic novel of the same name?"

Responds Edward Klein, or whichever of his staff is masquerading as Walter Scott: "Miller says he'd be more than happy to write future installments of his popular creation."

One has to question not only whether the column's staff actually talked to Miller (the lack of quotation marks makes me suspect that even if they did, this is more a paraphrase than a quote) but whether the staffers know that 300 is (a) not Miller's "creation," but a retelling of an historical event; and (b) ends with [spoiler warning?] Butler's character, and his warriors, dying!

I suppose we could have "future installments" featuring the gradual decomposition of their remains, or perhaps zombie Spartans rising from the wine-dark sea to seek their revenge (damn, those guys are hard to kill!). But I somehow doubt Frank Miller -- who, after all, wrote and drew 300 back in the 1990's -- will be writing or drawing future installments.

The Reruns All Become Our History

This week's LA Times featured an article that appeared to take as a given that the American electorate is really, really stupid.

Fred Thompson is a very conservator former senator. He is also an actor, who has been working in movies and TV for decades. One of the roles he played, on the Stephen Cannell series WISEGUY, was a demigogue named Knox Pooley who led a neo-Nazi group of malcontents. I watched the story arc back in the eighties. It was most memorable -- to me -- for the whacked-out follower of Pooley who took hostages and then demanded, in quavering tones, "I ... wanna see ... Knox ... POOOOley!" A friend and I took to saying "Knox POOOOley" to each other as a punch line for weeks afterward.

This footnote in TV history has come to the forefront now, because folks are talking about fielding Thompson as a presidential candidate. And, believe it or not, people are wondering if opponents will use Thompson's WISEGUY role against him.

"How does a performer eyeing a presidential run deal with a video history that can be downloaded, taken out of context, chopped into embarrassing pieces and then distributed endlessly though cyberspace?" asks the article.

The reporter distinguishes Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting history as a killer robot, on rather snide grounds: "In some ways, Thompson is too good an actor and looks too convincing in the part — a problem Schwarzenegger never had."

Eureka! We're Idiots!

While I have to tender kudos to Adult Swim/Cartoon Network for airing the exceptional anime SF series Eureka Seven with, on the whole, few edits, the channel had to forfeit a bunch of those kudos based on its inept handling of the final episode of that series' 50-ep run early Sunday morning. The creators of the series designed the ending episode with a touching epilogue that provided an emotional payoff for an often intense series.

Adult Swim cut the coda.

Clumsily, too. They sliced it off right after a card that read (in Japanese, granted) "One Year Later . . . ."

They also cut a monologue at the beginning.

All of this was after the standard warning card the network ran at the beginning of the series, warning about the "extreme violence" in the episode, and bragging about how they were running the episode "uncut" because "we are American cowboys."

Their definition of "uncut" appears to differ from mine.

So I did what, likely, numerous viewers did: I went to YouTube and watched an illegal, fan-subtitled copy of the episode. Coda and all.

Adult Swim made me do it.

****Update on 5/1/07*******

Adult Swim says it will re-run the episode on Saturday, May 5, with the cut bits restored. A representative called the cut "not intentional." How you inadvertently cut several minutes out of a TV show is unclear to me.

That Muffled Pop was My Mind Being Blown

Cousin Tod has posted on his blog not one, not two, but three fan fiction stories involving a much skinnier version of him; Dave Navarro, Carmen Electra; and the Daggit from BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.

Eep.

Like a Dodecahedron Die are the Myriad Dark Sides of Fandom

While I truly enjoy the world of fandom and conventions, every so often -- well, okay, quite often -- I read something on the 'Net that just makes me sit and bow my head and shake it ever so slowly back and forth. Like:

-- A whole discussion board dedicated to attacking my cousin Lee, and lauding his much more sarcastic brother Tod. Or:

-- A column about anime fans who earnestly believe they are reincarnations of various anime characters.

Sigh.

How Far Ahead of Deadline is Parade Magazine Prepared, Anyway?

I realize that Parade Magazine and its most prominent feature, Walter Scott's Personality Parade, has to be prepared ahead of the publication date so that it can be stuck inside the Circuit City ad in Sunday papers nationwide. But one would still think that some editor (one of the numerous staff editors listed in the indicia, perhaps) would catch a particular item in today's Personality Parade; and this correction (copied from the Personality Parade Webpage) wouldn't be necessary:

"Editor’s note: In the Feb. 11 edition of “Walter Scott’s Personality Parade,” we reported that 2006 Kentucky Derby champion Barbaro was in stable condition. Sadly, Barbaro developed serious complications after we went to press, and the horse had to be euthanized on Jan. 29."

Well, I guess "stable" is one way to put it . . . .

Yet Another Family Business

Various cousins have commented in their blogs recently that the "family businesses" for my family include law, writing, and scrap metal. Apparently a burgeoning addition is the rag trade -- er, the garment industry. Cousin Linda Woods's "I Am Art" shirts have become trendy among gluestick users nationwide; and now her brother Tod has struck back with his own line of shirts, tops, and hoodies. All use a portmanteau he coined that merges an Anglo-Saxon word that begins with "F" and a currently-frowned-upon term for those with an adult IQ of 70 or below. Since I generally don't use such words in this blog without substituting inane, futile asterisks for internal letters, I won't repeat the word here; but if you don't mind being barred from Carrow's and Chuck E. Cheese restaurants nationwide, you might want to buy one -- or gift one to a friend who isn't easily offended (or one you want to offend).